Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.4.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # The Ranches Rekindling Hope in Todays Youth - Since 1944 ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://theranches.org/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [President's Articles](https://theranches.org/blog/) - [Monday - Motivation](https://theranches.org/monday-motivation/) - Growtivation A little growth + a little motivation = a little growtivation. In my continuing quest to provide regular tidbits of information related to working with other people’s children, I will be talking about conflict today. Our societal view of conflict Our societal view of conflict has become rather binary and you are either conflict - [Saturday - Sentiment](https://theranches.org/saturday-sentiment/) - Not letting the sun go down on our anger... One of the hardest lessons to learn is to develop the skill of living in relative peace with someone who has acted a fool, treated us like a doormat and acted as if they are entitled to the chaos that they have created. When this happens, - [Wednesday - Whatever](https://theranches.org/wednesday-whatever/) - The Journey with Grief and Loss We all have our own separate and unique journey with grief and loss. Some of us have minimal experience so each loss feels monumental while others have lost someone so close and special that all others pale in comparison. While this is easily processed and understood on an intellectual - [Rest in Peace Heath Kull](https://theranches.org/rest-in-peace-heath-kull/) - Heath Aaron Kull - August 3, 1973 — July 29, 2023 It is with great sadness that The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranches announces that our President, Heath Kull has passed away unexpectedly on Saturday, July 29th, 2023. Heath had a passion for helping others and working with young men and women to mentor - [Sunday - My Struggle with Faith](https://theranches.org/sunday-my-struggle-with-faith/) - "Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you...Listen to me! He never wanted you. In all probability, hehatesyou.This is not the worst thing that can happen.”- Tyler Durden - Fight Club My - [Wednesday - Where I Find God](https://theranches.org/wednesday-where-i-find-god/) - The night I hit rock bottom, sittin' on an old bar stoolHe paid my tab and put me in a cab, he didn't have toBut he could see I was hurtin', oh I wish I'd got his name'Cause I didn't feel worth savin', but he saved me just the sameThat day out on the water - [What Does it Take to Effectively Care About Other People’s Children?](https://theranches.org/-what-does-it-take-to-effectively-care-about-other-peoples-children/) - Many of the adults who become staff at The Ranches, start off with an altruistic itch that they have almost always felt the need to scratch. When volunteering at church or at another service organization fail to effectively sooth the itch of helping others, many consider going into full time work that focuses on helping - [25th Annual Pete Leyva Memorial Golf Tournament](https://theranches.org/25th-annual-pete-leyva-memorial-golf-tournament/) - Join us for the 25th Annual Pete Leyva Memorial Golf Tournament on Monday, September 12th, 2022.Help support at-risk youth by playing in this year’s tournament and hopefully score a hole in one! Proceeds from both the tournament and the online auction will serve to further benefit the children in our care. Registration is now open!Register as a single player, twosome, - [Overprotective Parents - Podcast Episode 49](https://theranches.org/overprotective-parents-podcast-episode-49/) - [Toxicity & Shame - Podcast Episode 50](https://theranches.org/toxicity-shame-podcast-episode-50/) - Note: This isn’t an intellectual paper written with the expectation that intellectuals will intellectualize my intellect and reduce said intellect into shards of insecurity and shame. It’s just my view and my experiences. You can take it or you can leave it, but your - or anyone else’s - attempts at invalidating me and my - [10 Commandments of Parenting - Podcast Episode 51](https://theranches.org/10-commandments-of-parenting-podcast-episode-51/) - By Heath KullMost of us are familiar with the 10 commandments and are at least aware that they form the basis for both Judeo-Christian ethics and our legal system. And technically, they represent the first download from the cloud to a tablet. While they may seem old-fashioned to the younger generations, they are 10 rules - [Comfort Zone vs Growth Zone - Podcast Episode 52](https://theranches.org/comfort-zone-vs-growth-zone/) - By Heath Kull Many families today struggle to find a balance between being connected to each other and the hectic demands of today’s fast paced world. This is understandable as we are all busy and we all are seemingly attached to our smartphones and other devices on a fairly consistent basis. It is easy to - [Back to School - Podcast Episode 53](https://theranches.org/back-to-school-podcast-episode-53/) - [Moral Relativism - Podcast Episode 54](https://theranches.org/moral-relativism-podcast-episode-54/) - [They're Not Looking for Signs That They Are Not Awesome - Podcast Episode 55](https://theranches.org/theyre-not-looking-for-signs-that-they-are-not-awesome-podcast-episode-55/) - [Expectations, Isolation and Shame - Podcast Episode 56](https://theranches.org/expectations-isolation-and-shame/) - By Heath Kull Note: I have spent precisely ZERO days of my life as a girl. I was raised at a “boys ranch” in rural New Mexico and was surrounded by a seemingly endless stream of fresh male faces. None were the same but none too different either. My experience with girls comes primarily from - [Trust - Podcast Episode 59](https://theranches.org/trust-podcast-episode-59/) - With the kids at The Ranch we tend to focus a lot on dealing with trust. Why would they trust us? We have to earn it from scratch. In a family setting there are four elements that create trust. - [Bullying - Podcast Episode 60](https://theranches.org/bullying-podcast-episode-60/) - Welcome to The Ranches "Raise Them Up" parenting podcast. Bullying itself is all about control. Bully's are trying to control the things around them. Learn more at: https://theranches.org - [A Mile in Their Shoes - Podcast Episode 62](https://theranches.org/a-mile-their-shoes/) - Welcome to The Ranches "Raise Them Up" parenting podcast. There's a lot of talk about Empathy in the world today and how we need more of it. Empathy is the ability to see something from somebody else's perspective. As a result they can "walk a mile in their shoes". Learn more at: www.theranches.org - [It Starts at Home - Podcast Episode 74](https://theranches.org/it-starts-at-home-podcast-episode-74/) - If the one thing you can do for your child is always make life a little bit easier to navigate, it is so worth it. It starts at home. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to stay up to date with Raise Them Up Podcast. Keep up to date with The Ranches - [Politics Part 3 - All Politics Are Local - Podcast Episode 22](https://theranches.org/politics-part-3-all-politics-are-local-podcast-episode-22/) - Third in a three part series on politics. As parents the politics of our family really dictates a lot of the politics our kids believe going forward. - [Accountability Spectrum - Podcast Episode 57](https://theranches.org/accountability-spectrum-podcast-episode-57/) - [Equine Gestalt Coaching - Podcast Episode 58](https://theranches.org/equine-gestalt-coaching-podcast-episode/) - Welcome to The Ranches "Raise Them Up" parenting podcast. Equine Gestalt Coaching is life coaching with the assistance of horses. We're able to raise awareness about different issues we may have. Learn more at: https://theranches.org/equine-coaching and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffOQ9kuMYgw - [Respect and Parenting - Podcast Episode 63](https://theranches.org/respect-and-parenting-podcast-episode-63/) - Welcome to The Ranches "Raise Them Up" parenting podcast. We know kids do respect and want limits. We also know, that a relationship can get fractured to the point where a child does not respect the parent. If that's the case then things can get very difficult. It can be difficult to get back on - [Consequences - Podcast Episode 64](https://theranches.org/consequences-podcast-episode-64/) - One of the only ways accountability can really exist is to have reasonable consequences. Everybody has a different version of reasonable, but kids do need consequences for their behaviors. - [The Struggle with Accountability - Podcast Episode 65](https://theranches.org/the-struggle-with-accountability-podcast-episode-65/) - Accountability - The Ranches is a place for kids to get a fresh start and to develop new tools and learn new ways of navigating life. In most cases, kids come to The Ranches with inadequate and unhealthy ways of dealing with relationships and with conflict. Initially, we start the process of orienting kids to - [Being Offended - Podcast Episode 66](https://theranches.org/being-offended-podcast-episode-66/) - I’ve worked with “at risk” youth for most of my adult life and have lived with for my entire life. In that time, some things have stayed the same while other things have changed in startling ways. Kids often hope for value, acceptance, and appreciation. That has stayed extremely consistent. What has changed is the - [Tantrums - Podcast Episode 67](https://theranches.org/tantrums-podcast-episode-67/) - Most kids when they get to a point where they're overwhelmed they get into a mini tantrum of some sort. Learn more at: https://theranches.org Keep up to date with The Ranches by following us on Facebook! - [Accountability - Podcast Episode 68](https://theranches.org/accountability-podcast-episode-68/) - For children to become responsible adults we need to teach them proper accountability. If we do this, children will not grow up to become adults that think nothing they do is wrong. - [Stay at Home - Podcast Episode 69](https://theranches.org/stay-at-home-podcast-episode-69/) - It's important that we as parents recognize our obligation to our children at this time. The appropriate response to these last few weeks is staying home, limiting your exposure and only going out for essentials. That's an appropriate response. Hoarding necessities is not, and kids are paying attention to that. - [Control - Podcast Episode 70](https://theranches.org/control-podcast-episode-70/) - Today we're going to talk about control and control issues. We are all at some point or another catapulted into this idea that we need to have control of something. - [The Fringe - Podcast Episode 71](https://theranches.org/the-fringe-podcast-episode-71/) - Join The Ranches as they explore the fringe. The fringe is when you're kind of on the edge of a spectrum, political, parenting or whatever it is. It's the extreme edges of not mainstream, it's on the fringe of things. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to stay up to date with - [What Will Our Kids Remember About Quarantine?](https://theranches.org/what-will-our-kids-remember-about-quarantine/) - We all have memories from distinctive times in our past. Every family goes through things. Tough times…challenging times…celebratory times…times of change. Emotions link to memories and memories are a part of what makes us. What will our kids remember about quarantine? I don’t believe that I am out of line in calling this a distinctive time in - [What Divides Us? -Podcast Episode 73](https://theranches.org/what-divides-us-podcast-episode-73/) - What divides us? A lot of families are trying to deal with the differences that exist in their own family. By learning the importance of diverse thought, we can avoid contempt and resentment for those who live their lives differently. It is critical for us to teach our children to react to these events in - [What Does Your Family Worship? - Podcast Episode 75](https://theranches.org/what-does-your-family-worship/) - Family Worship is the object of our exploration on this episode of Raise Them Up Podcast. What do your kids see you focus your time, effort and energy on? An hour on Sunday morning is one level of energy, but what do they see you doing the rest of the week? If you enjoyed this - [How Do You Deal With Difficult People? - Podcast Episode 76](https://theranches.org/how-do-you-deal-with-difficult-people-podcast-episode-76/) - Difficult People We all have difficult people in our lives. How our children deal with those difficult people is going to trace back to how we, as parents, have dealt with difficult people in our lives. Keep up to date with The Ranches by following us on Facebook! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure - [Are You Teaching Your Kids to Lie? - Podcast Episode 77](https://theranches.org/are-you-teaching-your-kids-to-lie-podcast-episode-77/) - Does your family lie? We all lie. It's pretty common to have little white lies here, little white lies there. But do your kids watch you lie on a regular basis? Are you teaching your kids to lie? Keep up to date with The Ranches by following us on Facebook! If you enjoyed this episode, - [Do You Know How to Rest? - Podcast Episode 78](https://theranches.org/do-you-know-how-to-rest-podcast-episode-78/) - Do you know how to rest? One of the things that's really critical for kids, that starts at home, is rest. As an adult do you teach your kids or show them how important it is to rest? Keep up to date with The Ranches by following us on Facebook! If you enjoyed this episode, - [Grateful or Covetous - Podcast Episode 79](https://theranches.org/grateful-or-covetous-podcast-episode-79/) - As a family do you subscribe to a grateful or covetous spirit? Is your time and energy focused on being grateful for what you have and what you have done? Do the possessions and accomplishments of those around you capture your attention? If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to stay up to - [Ethics of Hard-Work](https://theranches.org/ethics-of-hard-work/) - The ethics of hard-work is extremely important when we enter the workforce as adults. That work ethic, believe it or not, starts when we are a whole lot younger. Helping out around the house, cleaning our rooms and learning to do our laundry. This is why chores are such a big part of The Ranches’ - [Sharing with "the least of these"](https://theranches.org/time-and-resources-sharing-with-the-least-of-these/) - A lot of adult groups took their time and resources from the heart to share with our residents for Christmas. The month began with a Christmas party hosted by the Sojourners Club, with lunch, fun, and gifts for the children. Santa Claus made an early appearance to distribute gift cards to the kids and share - [Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood](https://theranches.org/seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/) - ..but when is acceptable to seek to be understood? (If you’re in the (TL;RL) crowd or are seeking to be understood, this may not be for you. Here’s your off ramp. If you’re still with me, this is a difficult post to write. I grew up as a “staff kid”. This is a label applied - ["What kinds of kids end up at The Ranches?"](https://theranches.org/unhealthy-unhelpful-coping-mechanisms/) - I’ve been answering these questions my entire life and with good reason. It is hard to understand the need for a place like The Ranches unless you too were considered “at risk” at some point in your childhood. The truth is, the kids at The Ranches end up with us due to unhealthy and unhelpful - [The Emotional Forecast](https://theranches.org/the-emotional-forecast/) - The emotional forecast and our current situation. Our current situation has allowed for a significant reduction in the pace of things at The Ranches. While we’re still caring for the kids and facilitating their education, I have a bit more time on my hands than usual. I have started making a list of every single - [50 Years of Service](https://theranches.org/50-years-of-service/) - Mike & Nikki Kull - Celebrating 50 years of service, interviewed by Gary White Meet Mike & Nikki Kull How many young married couples, with bachelor’s degrees in each of their pockets, a 5-month-old child, and opportunities galore would purposely choose to come to a rather desolate stretch of land, in the Middle Rio Grande - [Mixing Politics with Anything Gives You Politics](https://theranches.org/mixing-politics-with-anything-gives-you-politics/) - Mixing Politics with Anything Gives You Politics. As someone that I respect recently said, “I don’t think this qualifies as a rant...” I’ve reached the point that I’ve just grown weary of the idea that we can no longer discuss anything without politics hanging like a Damoclean Sword over everything in our lives. When I - [Summer 2020 Corral](https://theranches.org/letter-from-the-president-summer-2020-corral/) - Letter From The President Given the coverage and information related to world events that can feel overwhelming. Suffice it to say that Rekindling Hope in At Risk Youth is particularly challenging right now. Being in a position to explain current events to the kids is particularly challenging considering that they aren’t glued to phones or - [Emotional Weather](https://theranches.org/emotional-weather/) - The Emotional Weather That We Create “I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in theclassroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be - [Literature Class](https://theranches.org/literature-class/) - Literature class holds great value. I have always loved books. It didn’t matter what the book was, I could find a way to love it. Literature was always a way to escape reality for a moment and it was something that would always be needed. Upon returning to The Ranches, this time as a staff - [Art Room](https://theranches.org/art-room/) - If you looked at the Art Room in February, then walked in now, you would not recognize the area you just stepped into. Where splatters of paint and dried clay caked the walls now is a light sky-blue color that is instantly calming. Where shelves stood that were falling apart and storing old items, there - [Back to School... Kinda](https://theranches.org/back-to-school-kinda/) - Back To School: Letter from Heath Kull, President This year has been anything but normal. If it were normal, I’d be writing my annual “Back to School” letter. Instead, I am writing to you and hoping that you are doing well. I consistently pray for all y’all and that the good Lord will continue to - [Monday - Managing Our Hidden Biases](https://theranches.org/monday-managing-our-hidden-biases/) - Everyday Biases Even though today represents a very important (and historically significant) day to reflect on our biases, this kind of reflection is a task worthy of our time and attention every single day. Racism, sexism, ageism - and recently xenophobia - get the lion’s share of focus and conversation surrounding bias, and rightfully so. - [Wednesday Words of Wisdom](https://theranches.org/wednesday-words-of-wisdom/) - Remembering Your Roots With only a few exceptions, almost all of us can look back on our first few weeks and months at The Ranches and remember our own feelings about being here. Unfortunately, I am one of the few exceptions, so I don’t quite recall my first weeks at The Ranches. Making Necessary Adjustments... - [Tuesday - Extra Tremulous Trepidation](https://theranches.org/tuesday-trepidation/) - Honesty, Anger, and Emotional Honesty It's a natural part of being human to feel a tinge of trepidation when it comes to honesty and being honest, which stands to reason when you look at how people tend to lump anger together with honesty. Many people (staff and kids alike) grew up in a home where - [Friday - Dang, Y’all Can Be Mean](https://theranches.org/friday-dang-yall-can-be-mean/) - I realize that my alliteration is off but all the F words seemed inappropriate. I don’t think too many people set out to be mean, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Subtle Negativity I’m not talking about hateful or blatantly critical or even bold. I’m talking about the subtle, yet perceptible, - [Giving the Kids the Room to Grow](https://theranches.org/giving-the-kids-the-room-to-grow/) - by Heath Kull Teaching the "Fruits of Your Labor" Last spring, we set about teaching the kids some life skills along with a focus on seeing the "fruits of your labor"…literally.Judey Truitt, one of our houseparents, began resurrecting our garden and revitalizing a greenhouse here on the ranch. Each day as the kids set out - [Saturday - Cynicism and Survival](https://theranches.org/saturday-cynicism-and-survival/) - The Link Between Cynicism and Survival There is an inexorable link between cynicism and survival. When we feel threatened, we naturally begin looking for additional threats to be wary of. When those threats happen to be physical, we have a certain set of responses. Truth be told, most of us aren’t under physical threat very - [24th Annual Pete Leyva Memorial Golf Tournament](https://theranches.org/24th-annual-pete-leyva-memorial-golf-tourament/) - Join us for the 24th Annual Pete Leyva Memorial Golf Tournament on Monday, September 13th, 2021. Help support at-risk youth by playing in this year's tournament and hopefully score a hole in one! In addition to the tournament, we will hold an online auction. - [Experience Hope](https://theranches.org/experience-hope/) - As the summer season slowly draws to a close, we would like to give a special thanks to Family Life Radio (FLR) for featuring The Ranches on air this week. - [Wednesday - Grief & Loss](https://theranches.org/wednesday-grief-loss/) - Our own separate and unique journey with grief and loss We all have our own separate and unique journey with grief and loss. Some of us have minimal experience so each loss feels monumental while others have lost someone so close and special that all others pale in comparison. While we easily process this and - [Friday - Focus](https://theranches.org/friday-focus/) - I've not met too many kids who care about our politics. They do, however, tend to judge us by our principles. Have you identified your principles and do you live them out in ways that everyone can see? The first part is actually the important part as we all live out our principles all of - [Learning Patience with Others](https://theranches.org/learning-patience-with-others/) - The Bible tells us to deal with our own flaws before we're so quick to judge another person. Looking at your own flaws first is key to Learning Patience with Others. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - [Catalog of Hope - Podcast Episode 61](https://theranches.org/catalog-of-hope-podcast-episode-61/) - Christmas is a special time for most of us. We are looking forward to spending some time with family and friends. But for many of the kids, Christmas comes with a host of mixed emotions. While the gifts and celebrations are a welcome distraction from living away from home at The Ranches, Christmas also comes - [What makes a good parent](https://theranches.org/makes-good-parent-2/) - Raising children in today’s world is not easy and gets seemingly more difficult every day. So, "What makes a good parent?" With all of our societal efforts to empower children, we have, in some cases, empowered more negative behavior than positive. Kids are fed a steady diet of praise for standing up to authority, breaking - [Children Hearing You're Doing It Wrong!](https://theranches.org/youre-doing-it-wrong-2/) - A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 A couple of years ago we had a resident who was very challenging and hyperactive, named Zeke. He was extremely dedicated to a select group of rule sets, and paid no attention to details otherwise. There was about a - [Bad Decisions - Teenager](https://theranches.org/bad-decisions-teenager-2/) - We have all made bad decisions at one time or another and we all must figure out how we will respond to our own lack of judgement. I work hard to take responsibility, learn from my mistake and take steps to ensure that I will not repeat the same decision, but it hasn’t always been - [The Business of Changing Kids](https://theranches.org/the-business-of-changing-kids/) - We are in the business of changing kid’s behavior, but, in truth, we are in The Business of Changing Kids. While it may seem like a small difference, I assure you, it is a significant one. Setting out to identify and change a child’s negative behaviors tends to lead to kids that think that they - [Back to School](https://theranches.org/back-to-school/) - At The Ranches, “Back to School” is always exciting. It’s hard to believe that another school year is already upon us. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating the end of school and enjoying the relaxed pace that Summer brings. Despite my objections to Summer going by so quickly, another school year has begun - [Parenting Today's Youth](https://theranches.org/parenting-todays-youth/) - Helping parents and children learn to have a more positive outlook on themselves and on life can make such an impact and here's to learning positive techniques on Parenting Today's Youth. By the time kids come to The Ranches, it is not uncommon for them to have a fairly negative view of themselves. Parents, siblings, - [Healthy Ways to Handle Fear](https://theranches.org/healthy-ways-to-handle-fear/) - Having a healthy grip on fear is one thing, but teaching your children fearlessness versus healthy ways to handle fear is another process. The following was written by Heath Kull I often work with and write about hurting and angry young people since they make up the majority of the kids at The Ranches. On - [County Fair Time](https://theranches.org/county-fair-time/) - The Ranches would like to thank all of those who worked tirelessly this past 4-H/FFA season to help, encourage and support young people participating in county fairs across New Mexico. All the late nights and early mornings that you selflessly gave to young people really mattered. When our kids succeed, we succeed. Thankfully, many of - [What The Ranches Stands For](https://theranches.org/what-the-ranches-stands-for/) - As I travel around New Mexico and talk to groups and individuals about The Ranches, I am amazed at how often people ask me some version of, “what does The Ranches stand for?” Unfortunately, I tend to assume that everyone in New Mexico knows about us and what we do. I recognize that this is - [Why are kids so angry today?](https://theranches.org/why-are-kids-so-angry-today/) - Many parents ask "Why are kids so angry today?" In my experience, the source of young people’s anger comes from a few key sources. By Heath Kull I am amazed at how often I am asked some version of this question. As I talk to people and work with kids, there is a perception by - [Hating Anger? For The Holidays?](https://theranches.org/hating-anger-for-the-holidays/) - This time of year is always filled with a little hope, a little cheer, a little frustration...and a little fear; and for some, a little anger. Thankfully (sarcasm intended), this time of year is also filled with messages about people letting go of toxic people in their lives and purging negativity and “letting go of - [Emotions and Morality](https://theranches.org/emotions-and-morality/) - Growing up on a ranch meant that I was raised with a certain amount of liberty. There is freedom in the country but there is also risk. So while I was free to try and jump on the back of a young steer and see how long I could ride, I was also risking ending - [We're all a little broken](https://theranches.org/were-all-a-little-broken/) - By Heath Kull As we look at our society today, it is hard not to come to the conclusion that things are trending in a negative direction. We are constantly barraged with stories of our flaws and the things that divide us and separate us from each other. But is that all that there is - [Conflict Avoidance](https://theranches.org/conflict-avoidance/) - I think that it is safe to say that every child that comes to The Ranches has been surrounded by a certain degree of conflict and has, as a result of this conflict, become somewhat resistant to change and practiced Conflict Avoidance. By Heath Kull For most of the kids, their young lives have been - [Son of a Helper](https://theranches.org/son-of-a-helper/) - I’m the son of a helper. Son of helpers to be more accurate. Let me explain... Every group of struggling people tends to have a group that is trying to help that population of people. Some work to help the unsaved or the unchurched, some the homeless, some Guatemalan kids and some less fortunate kids. - [You Don't Understand!](https://theranches.org/you-dont-understand/) - - Cottage Training In my time at The Ranches, I cannot possibly count the number of times that a young person has exclaimed to a staff member, “you don’t understand!” While usually uttered out of frustration, the statement is true. I don’t and most people who work with kids who’ve spent time out of their - [Avoid Conflict](https://theranches.org/avoid-conflict/) - I saw this picture and it really struck a chord with me. ('If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself") In my work, I deal with a lot of people who are conflict avoidant. Some admit that it’s a weakness, but most try to excuse their cowardice (and that’s - [Signs of Weakness - Podcast Episode 27](https://theranches.org/signs-of-weakness/) - First and foremost, this isn’t for “alpha males” or “dudebros”. This is about why masculinity and weakness make a conflicted pairing. Men and those who take comfort in living on the masculine end of the spectrum have long struggled with “signs of weakness.” This is the label attached to all the actions, characteristics, feelings and - [Change...the little things - Podcast Episode 30](https://theranches.org/change-the-little-things/) - Change...the little things...like making the bed! I work with a lot of kids and families and all of them bring up the same thing; the need for change. “He won’t do his chores.”“She won’t listen.”“They just walk away. What am I supposes to do.”“She’s throwing away her future.”“He doesn’t listen to me.”“I can’t live like - [The Down Side of “Letting Go”](https://theranches.org/down-side-of-letting-go/) - Any stroll through social media will leave you inundated with post after post and picture after picture related to “letting go”. We should “let go” of drama and tension and people who we deem as toxic and old relationships that no longer “fit” us. While I do know and have known people that have let - [Are You a Good Listener - Podcast Episode 32](https://theranches.org/are-you-a-good-listener-podcast-episode-32/) - Are you a good listener? I am not. While I am good at processing and storing the information that someone is trying to communicate with me, I often have trouble listening the the person and accurately identifying and validating the emotions behind, and delicately interwoven, into what the other person is saying. This is an - [Just Who I Am - Podcast Episode 34](https://theranches.org/just-who-i-am/) - I am amazed at how often I hear this from kids and adults today. When I was growing up, kids were expected to be what their parents, teachers, loved ones and caretakers expected them to be. We were seen by adults as in the process of becoming who we are. They were the guides and - [Is Enough Ever Really Enough?](https://theranches.org/is-enough-ever-really-enough/) - When working with young people, particularly those who’ve been hurt in horrific and traumatic ways, we must sometimes fight our urge to attempt to give children a better past. What I mean by that is that many well-meaning adults attempt to create a safety bubble with layers of protection for hurting kids to live within. - [Fear & Weakness Masquerading as Boundaries](https://theranches.org/fear-weakness-masquerading-as-boundaries/) - If you’re the type of person that needs or wants “trigger warnings”, this is your chance to stop reading. For those of you still reading, I appreciate you. Boundaries are essential and a part of all healthy relationships. That doesn’t, however, prevent unhealthy people from masking their fear and weakness as boundaries. Boundaries used to - [The Lure of Altruistic Narcissism in Ministry and Service](https://theranches.org/altruistic-narcissism-in-ministry-and-service/) - Altruism - the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others. Narcissism – selfishness, self-centeredness, ego driven with a grandiose sense of self involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy – to the point of being incapable of empathy - and a need for admiration, as characterizing - [Showdown for The Ranches – Paintball Tournament](https://theranches.org/showdown-for-the-ranches/) - Come join the fun for a great cause! Showdown for The Ranches will be at the largest paintball field in New Mexico. Registration for this event has ended, but you can still help support The Ranches by donating to one of our current Appeals. Showdown for The Ranches Details: Location: 16001 Shooting Range Access Rd, Albuquerque, NM 87121 - [Showdown for The Ranches - Paintball Tournament](https://theranches.org/showdown-for-the-ranches-2/) - Come join the fun for a great cause! Showdown for The Ranches will be at the largest paintball field in New Mexico. Registration for this event has ended, but you can still help support The Ranches by donating to one of our current Appeals. Showdown for The Ranches Details: Location: 16001 Shooting Range Access Rd, Albuquerque, NM 87121 - [Whatever You Are Not Changing, You Are Choosing-Podcast Episode 48](https://theranches.org/whatever-you-are-not-changing-you-are-choosing-podcast-episode-48/) - [Healthy Ways to Avoid Conflict - Podcast Episode 47](https://theranches.org/healthy-ways-to-avoid-conflict-podcast-episode-47/) - [Conflict Between Rules Results and People - Podcast Episode 46](https://theranches.org/conflict-between-rules-results-and-people/) - [Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend - Podcast Episode 45](https://theranches.org/enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend-podcast-episode-45/) - [Discipline - Podcast Episode 44](https://theranches.org/discipline-podcast-episode-44/) - [Socialism vs Emotional Capitalism-Podcast Episode 43](https://theranches.org/socialism-vs-emotional-capitalism-podcast/) - [Managing Your Emotions - Podcast Episode 42](https://theranches.org/managing-your-emotions-podcast-episode-42/) - [Narcissistic Behavior - Podcast Episode 41](https://theranches.org/narcissistic-behavior-podcast-episode-41/) - [How Did We Get Here - Podcast Episode 40](https://theranches.org/how-did-we-get-here-podcast-episode-40/) - [Redemption - Podcast Episode 39](https://theranches.org/redemption/) - [Shopping for Clothes - Podcast Episode 38](https://theranches.org/shopping-for-clothes-podcast-episode-38/) - [Peer Pressure - Podcast Episode 37](https://theranches.org/peer-pressure-podcast-episode-37/) - [The Drama Triangle - Podcast Episode 36](https://theranches.org/the-drama-triangle/) - A lot of the drama in our lives comes from the drama triangle. In that triangle, there is a persecutor, a victim and a rescuer. We have to be honest about those roles and look at how we contribute to that drama. Kids often feel like they are the victims of their persecutor parents. They - [There’s Something About Them... Podcast Episode 35](https://theranches.org/that-i-hate-about-myself/) - There’s Something About Them That I Hate About Myself Some of our biggest struggles with our kids happen when we see things in them that we know are present in ourselves. We pass along characteristics and behaviors to our kids and, when we aren’t proud of what we’ve passed along, have a negative reaction. One - [Assimilation - Podcast Episode 33](https://theranches.org/assimilation-podcast-episode-33/) - [Coaching The Kids - Podcast Episode 31](https://theranches.org/coaching-the-kids/) - [I’ll take a back seat, but there’s still room in the front - Podcast Episode 29](https://theranches.org/ill-take-a-back-seat/) - I am a husband, a brother, a son and also a father to three amazing girls. But none of that qualifies me to speak on other people’s issues or beliefs in such a way as to lead anyone to believe that they must see the world through my lens. While I can come across this - [Mean Girls - Podcast Episode 28](https://theranches.org/mean-girls-podcast-episode-28/) - Do these jeans make me look... With daughters and working with young people, I have a fair amount of experience with the negative side effects of body image issues; particularly in girls. While the shaming conversation on a grand scale is progress, I think all parents, especially moms with daughters and dads with sons, could - [Boundaries - Podcast Episode 26](https://theranches.org/boundaries-podcast-episode-26/) - Raising Kids with Boundaries When raising kids, boundaries are critical. Not just talking about boundaries, but living out our boundaries. If we want kids to always work hard, we have to show them that we are willing to work hard. By the same token, if we want them to put their phones aside during dinner, - [Your environment dictates your kids experiences - Podcast Episode 25](https://theranches.org/your-environment-dictates-your-kids-experiences/) - Structure, cleanliness and emotional calm make the weather for their experiences at home. Chaos rarely breeds comfort and kids “learn” to be either calm or anxious in the calm; and they learn it from their environment growing up. As parents, our job is to create the structure that allows kids to develop with as little - [Kids - Rigidity and Passive Aggression - Podcast Episode 24](https://theranches.org/kids-rigidity-and-passive-aggression/) - The harder you are to communicate with as a parent (or boss) the more passive aggressive your kids (employees) get. I believe that most parents and bosses are familiar with passive aggressive behavior. Kids or employees that do what they’re told but not what you wanted. For kids, this is often manifested by doing chores - [Holidays can be hard for kids - Podcast Episode 23](https://theranches.org/holidays-can-be-hard-for-kids/) - At The Ranches Holidays can be hard for kids. While not every kid has grief and loss to deal with, every kid that does have a significant loss, struggles during the holidays with the memory of better times; times that included the person that they lost. At The Ranches, the holidays can be a difficult and - [Youth - Hysteria and Failure - Podcast Episode 21](https://theranches.org/youth-hysteria-and-failure/) - Second podcast in a three part series about talking to our kids about politics. What kids actually take away from adults when it comes to politics. A lot of times what kids take away from us is the reactions we don't think they see. - [Talking About Politics with Young People - Podcast Episode 20](https://theranches.org/talking-about-politics-with-young-people-podcast-episode-20/) - Our goal is to help people talk about politics with their kids because kids today are learning a lot by a conversation they're not even involved in. - [Dealing with Mean Girls - Podcast Episode 19](https://theranches.org/dealing-with-mean-girls-podcast-episode-19/) - Mean Girls The Mean Girl behavior used to start in middle school but now it is starting in 2nd and 3rd grade. - [Back to School - Podcast Episode 18](https://theranches.org/back-to-school-2/) - Back to School As we transition from summer to the new school year, it’s important to recognize that some kids handle the change better than others. Also, some kids enjoy the seclusion of summer while some relish the idea of more social contact. - [Eye Contact Younger Kids - Podcast Episode 17](https://theranches.org/eye-contact-younger-kids/) - Eye Contact Younger Kids For younger kids, eye contact is critical and has to be taught. I went as far as going forehead to forehead with my kids for important points - Discipline and Praise. - Heath Kull - [Pain vs. Obedience, Respect and Performance - Podcast Episode 16](https://theranches.org/pain-vs-obedience-respect-and-performance-podcast-episode-16/) - Pain vs. Obedience, Respect and Performance Sometimes, as parents, we tend to focus on obedience, respect and performance of our children. While those things are important, we shouldn’t be so focus on them that we become blind to the pain that are kids are experiencing. Parents tend to believe that if their kids loved them, - [Triangulation - Podcast Episode 15](https://theranches.org/triangulation-podcast-episode-15/) - Triangulation Triangulation is exactly as it sounds. If you picture a triangle and you are at one of the points and your child at another, whoever or whatever is at the third point is the subject of the triangulation. Could be parents or step parents Could be teachers Could be friends Could be issues Could - [Cooking with Kids - Podcast Episode 14](https://theranches.org/cooking-with-kids-podcast-episode-14/) - Cooking with Kids Cooking is a great way to show kids that you like them and you like spending time with them while investing in theirs skillset. Find recipes until they have a favorite. Then have them make it for the family. You can love kids til the cows come home, but sometimes they’d rather - [Sorry vs. Thank You - Podcast Episode 13](https://theranches.org/sorry-vs-thank-you-podcast-episode-13/) - Forgiveness vs Gratitude Instead of getting stuck in an endless “sorry” loops, try replacing “sorry” with “thank you”. For example. Instead of saying “sorry I am late”, try “thank you for being patient and waiting for me.” Any change will cause loss and will be reacted to. Stick with it. - [Dominant vs. Non-Dominant - Podcast Episode 12](https://theranches.org/dominant-vs-non-dominant-podcast-episode-12/) - [Perfectionistic vs. Non-Detail Oriented - Podcast Episode 11](https://theranches.org/perfectionistic-vs-non-detail-oriented-podcast-episode-11/) - [Parenting To Your Child's Personality - Podcast Episode 10](https://theranches.org/parenting-to-your-childs-personality/) - [Conflict Avoidant vs. Conflict Oriented - Podcast Episode 9](https://theranches.org/conflict-avoidant-vs-conflict-oriented-podcast-9/) - [Fashion - Podcast Episode 8](https://theranches.org/fashion-podcast-episode-8/) - Welcome to the “Raise Them Up” Podcast presented by The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranches (The Ranches) Well, it’s prom season. For the kids at The Ranches, we don’t typically have a prom, but we do have opportunities to take them to events where dressing up and using our manners is important. Recently, we - [Faith - Podcast Episode 7](https://theranches.org/faith-podcast-episode-7/) - Faith Welcome to the “Raise Them Up” Podcast presented by The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranches (The Ranches) Faith is complicated for adults and can be for kids as well. I grew up in the church and have always had a foundation in faith. But as I grew older, I had to take a - [Politics - Podcast Episode 6](https://theranches.org/politics-podcast-episode-6/) - Politics Welcome to the “Raise Them Up” Podcast presented by The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranches (The Ranches) In today’s world, it is hard to avoid politics. With the current level of contention in the political world, and the ever increasing volume of young people making political stands, politics is harder than ever to - [Forgiveness - Podcast Episode 5](https://theranches.org/forgiveness-podcast-episode-5/) - Forgiveness Forgiveness is tricky. Every person I know handles and thinks about forgiveness differently. For some, going back to normal and disassociating from feelings altogether is their form of forgiveness, while others have to work through the issue verbally (sometimes several times) in order to “let go” of the feelings of being harmed. At the - [Family Culture - Podcast Episode 4](https://theranches.org/family-culture-episode-4/) - For the sake of this podcast, we will be defining family culture as “the way things are done around here.” Every family has a culture and that culture is different than any other family culture; even if there are similarities between families...especially within the same larger family. Some components of the family culture are how - [How To Say No To Kids Today - Podcast Episode 3](https://theranches.org/how-to-say-no-to-kids-today-podcast/) - [Needs Vs Wants Podcast - Episode 2](https://theranches.org/needs-vs-wants-podcast/) - As parents, it can be difficult to navigate raising our children in today’s day and age. When I was growing up, a television was considered a luxury and we only had 3 channels (2 if the wind moved the antenna). I get it, I’m old now, but I still remember. My kids have grown up in - [Raise Them Up - Podcast Episode 1](https://theranches.org/raise-podcast-episode-1/) - Welcome to the “Raise Them Up” Podcast presented by The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranches (The Ranches) We will be discussing young people, parents and the issues that effect both. I am the president of The Ranches and will be joined by my wife Lani (Vice President for Program Services) and Gary White (COO - [Thank You BNSF Belen Mechanical](https://theranches.org/thank-you-bnsf-belen-mechanical/) - There’s rarely a day goes by that we don’t marvel at how blessed we are. Recently a group of employees of Burlington Northern Santa Fe (BNSF) Belen Mechanical Division contacted us to invite the children and staff of The Ranches to be their guests. The BNSF employees and family members hosted The Ranches at their - [Blessings this Easter](https://theranches.org/blessings-this-easter/) - Many of the kids at The Ranches have come to believe that their past mistakes and failures make redemption all but impossible. Unfortunately, like so many have come to believe, the kids tend to think that they must do “enough” to once again be worthy of being loved. Easter gives us an opportunity to remind - [I am Important](https://theranches.org/i-am-important/) - By Resident - MC I have a bad habit of putting other’s needs in front of my own needs. This has caused me to think that I am invisible, unimportant and that I don’t matter to the world or to myself. I began believing everything bad that everyone was saying. This didn’t land me in - [Conflict](https://theranches.org/conflict/) - One of the concepts that takes some getting used to at The Ranches is the idea that we are in a constant state of conflict. This is not chaotic or unnecessary conflict, but the conflict that comes from working tirelessly to change people’s behavior. I would love to say that the adults work to change - [Listen to Your Children](https://theranches.org/listen-to-your-children/) - Listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we could listen twice as much as we talk. This is particularly important to young people. While it is important to remember that you don’t always have to agree, it is important to always listen to your children. By Heath Kull Follow up, open - [Blessed During Holidays](https://theranches.org/blessed-during-holidays/) - Every year we've been blessed during holidays with amazing sponsors and donors that impact us, and we wanted to thank them. The Holidays always provide us the opportunity to experience the generosity of our community and of groups that want to make sure the kids at The Ranches are not overlooked. While there is always - [A Story from Mountain Vista Ranch](https://theranches.org/a-story-from-mountain-vista-ranch/) - Mountain Vista Ranch provides an independent living environment for young women needing assistance in learning life skills, finding employment, completing educational programs and/or learning parenting skills. By Alisia - Previous MVR Child Resident My name is Alisia. My mom, Dionne, is the Administrator at Mountain Vista Ranch (MVR). Hearing that my mom administers the program, - [KOB Steve Stucker](https://theranches.org/kob-steve-stucker/) - Sometimes as our residents are learning about themselves, they will discover a particular interest in a subject or field. When possible, we try to help them explore their new-found passions. Recently one of our residents, Karmen, expressed interest in meteorology. Local weatherman and longtime friend of The Ranches, Steve Stucker from KOB, welcomed Karmen and - [The Acquired Taste of New Mexico](https://theranches.org/the-acquired-taste-of-new-mexico/) - There are times I think about the people who have lived here before me. I ponder the unique strength of both the indigenous and settling peoples that chose to live in the desert that is New Mexico. I consider their travels; what they must have thought of the dynamic landscape they traversed and made their - [Dealing with Conflict](https://theranches.org/dealing-with-conflict/) - Dealing with Conflict doesn't end at any point in your life. Learning to deal with conflict rather than avoid it is something that every human needs to learn. We have, for the most part, become a conflict avoidant culture. We work very hard to make sure that we aren’t seen as aggressive or angry and - [Children Hearing You’re Doing It Wrong!](https://theranches.org/youre-doing-it-wrong/) - A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 A couple of years ago we had a resident who was very challenging and hyperactive, named Zeke. He was extremely dedicated to a select group of rule sets, and paid no attention to details otherwise. There was about a - [Bad Decisions – Teenager](https://theranches.org/bad-decisions-teenager/) - We have all made bad decisions at one time or another and we all must figure out how we will respond to our own lack of judgement. I work hard to take responsibility, learn from my mistake and take steps to ensure that I will not repeat the same decision, but it hasn’t always been - [What makes a good parent](https://theranches.org/makes-good-parent/) - Raising children in today’s world is not easy and gets seemingly more difficult every day. So, “What makes a good parent?” With all of our societal efforts to empower children, we have, in some cases, empowered more negative behavior than positive. Kids are fed a steady diet of praise for standing up to authority, breaking - [Using Music to Communicate with Your Teen](https://theranches.org/music-communicating-with-teen/) - One of the most prevailing memories of my childhood were the moments I spent with my dad while he drove me to school. The car ride was an open forum for me and he let me control the music that was being played. He might have cringed through some of the songs I chose but - [Teen Expectations - Fishing for Answers](https://theranches.org/teen-expectations-fishing-for-answers/) - Several weeks ago, I took some of the boys to Isleta Lakes to go fishing. The small lakes get stocked with game fish on a weekly basis. A fellow staff member, who is a very experienced fisherman, provided our group with fishing poles, equipment, bait, and his expertise. We were primed for an enjoyable afternoon - [KOB Steve Stucker](https://theranches.org/kob-steve-stucker-2/) - Sometimes as our residents are learning about themselves, they will discover a particular interest in a subject or field. When possible, we try to help them explore their new-found passions. Recently one of our residents, Karmen, expressed interest in meteorology. Local weatherman and longtime friend of The Ranches, Steve Stucker from KOB, welcomed Karmen and - [The Acquired Taste of New Mexico](https://theranches.org/the-acquired-taste-of-new-mexico-2/) - There are times I think about the people who have lived here before me. I ponder the unique strength of both the indigenous and settling peoples that chose to live in the desert that is New Mexico. I consider their travels; what they must have thought of the dynamic landscape they traversed and made their - [Spring Appeal](https://theranches.org/spring-appeal/) - “Leave Me Alone!” It’s an off-putting statement coming from a teenager you are trying to help. But when children are harmed at an early age, their response to pain is almost always anger and that anger can surface at any moment. Jacob is 15 years old and his peer relationships are marred by irritating verbal - [Hay-Friend Horses for Heroes](https://theranches.org/horses-heroes/) - Occasionally we have the opportunity to help out another member of our community. We were recently able to help out another charity, Horses for Heroes, by transporting some hay up to them for their horses. One of our neighbors near The Ranch sold them the hay and we loaded up several residents to help get - [Why I Work With Kids at the Ranches](https://theranches.org/work-kids-ranches/) - Why? I am often asked to explain how we do what we do at The Ranches and I am all too happy to answer. Recently, one of residents asked me why I work at The Ranches. At first, I started to give him a series of answers that started with “we….” He was not impressed - [True Love Waits](https://theranches.org/true-love-waits/) - When kids come to The Ranches, they are all struggling with the difficult issues that come from being an adolescent. In addition, most of our residents are also struggling with at least one significant issue that isn’t a normal part of adolescence. For some, this is an issue that they participated in creating such as - [New Year, New Beginnings](https://theranches.org/new-year-new-beginnings/) - New Year, New Beginnings Every year the collective of the world makes new year’s resolutions/intentions and by mid-February most of them have been abandoned. We settle into what is comfortable and move on with our lives. Even though most resolutions are broken or forgotten, it is our optimism and desire for bettering ourselves that keeps - [Helping Kids in New Mexico by Raising Them Up](https://theranches.org/helping-kids-in-new-mexico-by-raising-them-up/) - We believe in helping kids in New Mexico by raising them up. I am always amazed at the number of conversations that I have regarding kids that start with referencing children’s lack of good judgment. I agree that there is a problem with kids and judgement, but do we ever put ourselves in their shoes? Do - [New Mexico Living at The Ranches](https://theranches.org/new-mexico-living-at-the-ranches/) - [Christmas Matching Appeal](https://theranches.org/christmas-matching-appeal/) - “You’re Fired!” That’s a statement you might expect to hear on a TV show or from a frustrated boss. But this angry statement was directed to our staff and came from a young man in our program who is under the age of 12. Mateo arrived on campus with an attitude. He let everyone know - [Mental Toughness](https://theranches.org/mental-toughness/) - Kids today are often taught that mental toughness is based on one’s ability to complain about their circumstances and thereby negate negative criticism. “You don’t understand how hard my life has been!” is more common that it has ever been. This, coupled with the idea that honest feedback is mean and people that disagree with - [National Parks Trip](https://theranches.org/national-parks-trip/) - Another year and another National Parks Trip is in the books. This year, we took the kids to Rocky Mountains National Park to see the beautiful scenery and to have some fun. For many of the kids, these trips are a whole new experience and seeing them have fun in a new setting is a treat for - [Why Give?](https://theranches.org/why-give-to-ranches/) - I was recently asked the question, “Why should I give to The Ranches?” This got me thinking about the question and forced me to look for a more detailed response than, “We help kids!” If we’re being honest, there are a growing number of charitable organizations that work very hard to mend the rips in - [Connecting With Kids](https://theranches.org/connecting-with-kids/) - We are often asked for tips on connecting with kids. I wish I had a simple solution that allowed anyone to connect with a young person that is in their life, but there are no easy answers. In truth, it is a process that, when started from birth, becomes engrained in the relationship. When the - [Letting Kids Fail](https://theranches.org/letting-kids-fail/) - As I talk with people about kids and the issues that they face, I am often met with a simple response, “Sometimes, you have to let kids fail.” While I agree in principle, it is often a challenge to let kids fail in some areas while still giving them an opportunity in others. At - [Fall Matching Appeal](https://theranches.org/fall-matching-appeal/) - Each year, transportation costs are a significant part of our budget. While we make every effort to consolidate trips for supplies and transporting residents to and from appointments and activities, the toll on vehicles is costly. One Ranch vehicle that is critical to everyday activities is a dependable pick-up truck that can carry supplies as - [The Struggle](https://theranches.org/the-struggle/) - When I first started working at The Ranches, it was a summer job at our Hart Youth Ranch facility in Melrose, NM. A buddy and I wanted to have a summer adventure and being a cowboy on a working cattle ranch seemed like the perfect way to spend a summer. We settled on $300 - [If You Really Knew Me](https://theranches.org/if-you-really-knew-me/) - Most of the kids at The Ranches are struggling to keep a façade in place that hides who they really are. The reason for this façade is simple, they didn’t get a lot of positive feedback for who they were when they were too young to build a false identity. We all start off - [Congratulations Class of 2016!](https://theranches.org/congratulations-class-2016/) - Congratulations Class of 2016! On May 13, 2016, staff members, friends and family members watched with pride as four Ranch residents walked across the stage in Belen to receive their High School Diplomas. The event was the culmination of over four years of hard work and determination for these young people. All were behind - [May I Have Your Attention](https://theranches.org/may-i-have-your-attention/) - "May I have your attention." We’ve all heard the words and we react somewhat instinctively to them. Typically, we stop what we are doing and turn to face the speaker with our focus on what comes next. In that moment of silent anticipation, we are prepared to receive and understand the information that is forthcoming. - ["You Can't Tell Me How I Feel!"](https://theranches.org/you-cant-tell-me-how-i-feel/) - We often hear the kids that we serve exclaiming that we cannot tell them how to think or how to feel. It is in these times that we have to remind them that we have been asked to provide them a different way of looking at things (how to think) and a different way of interpreting the actions of others (how - [Cowboys Cook Too](https://theranches.org/cowboys-cook-too/) - Article courtesy of Lone Star Western Decor Home on the range harkens back to a simpler time with cowboys riding horses across the prairie. Just because the times were simpler did not mean the food wasn't delicious, though! Cowboys had a tough job to do which meant they needed filling meals to get - [Cottage Life](https://theranches.org/cottage-life/) - Life in a cottage can be very interesting. A lot of people that I talk to think of the cottage as a large family, but it is often times more like a very dysfunctional work department. Typical family roles do not apply as, for the most part, family roles are determined by birth order and - [Return Things in Better Condition](https://theranches.org/return-things-better-condition/) - I was raised with an understanding that, if you borrowed something, you should always return it in better condition than when you borrowed it. This has led to more than one late evening run to the hardware store to purchase a replacement tool because I had damaged the one I borrowed. It also has led to - [Sevilleta National Wildlife Refuge Event](https://theranches.org/sevilleta-national-wildlife-refuge-event/) - Despite the current season being defined as spring which usually ushers in warmer weather, on April 8th The Ranches experienced a New Mexico chilly spring day. Some of the residents and staff visited a close neighbor. This neighbor, Sevilleta National Wildlife Refuge, is just 10 miles from The New Mexico Boys and Girls Ranch property. - [NMCCCA Professional Child Care](https://theranches.org/nmccca-professional-child-care/) - On March 28, the staff from The Ranches traveled to Portales to join with other child care workers from New Mexico and Arizona to participate in a three-day training program sponsored by the New Mexico Christian Child Care Association and Eastern New Mexico University. For a number of years, the Association has worked to develop - [Civitan International Award for Project of the Year](https://theranches.org/civitan-international-award-for-project-of-the-year/) - For many years, Civitan clubs in the Albuquerque area have played a part in helping young people from The Ranches become successful. This year, Civitan International has selected the Albuquerque Women’s Civitan Club to receive an award for “Project of the Year.” This award recognizes the club having rendered outstanding service to the community through a single - [The Dog Days of Self Improvement](https://theranches.org/dog-days-self-improvement/) - My family had a couple of Shelties when I was growing up. Shelties are herding dogs by nature, with lots of personality. Whenever I would run through the house, Corky and Sparky would chase me, nipping at my heels, in an effort to “herd” me like their breed would for sheep and cattle. This - [Father's Day](https://theranches.org/fathers-day/) - Father’s Day is always a difficult day at The Ranches. Many of our kids do not have a relationship with their biological father and some do not even know their father’s name or what he looks like. This creates two distinctive issues. The first is a lack of understanding of themselves due to not knowing - [Memorial Day](https://theranches.org/memorial-day/) - The Ranches was founded in 1944 as a response to the unfortunate rise in the number of young men who were left without a father because of World War II. As a result, we have always had a grave an unmistakable connection to Memorial Day. Many men and women have given their lives to - [Trees](https://theranches.org/trees/) - by Michael Reeves I grew up in eastern New Mexico, where trees are scarce. One morning after a particularly windy night, we awoke to find that our apricot and big weeping willow tree had both fallen. The neighbor across the street had a large tree down in his yard, as well. It turns out - [Learning to Sew](https://theranches.org/learning-to-sew/) - Dottie Butler became acquainted with The Ranches through Lion’s Club. Each Christmas, several Lion’s Clubs travel to Boys and Girls Ranch to bring gifts and cook lunch for everyone. Dottie asked if she could share her sewing talent with the young people. She and her friend, Gail Stark, come to The Ranch every other Thursday - [Mother's Day](https://theranches.org/mothers-day/) - As we celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday, I wanted to take a moment to thank you for supporting The Ranches. Since 1944 we have been providing a home to kids that needed a place to get a fresh start. While many of our residents will be heading home this weekend to spend time with their - [Blind to Success](https://theranches.org/blind-to-success/) - by Michael Reeves Derek Rabelo wanted to grow up and become a surfer. He was even named after his father’s favorite surfer. There was only one problem: Derek was born blind. The absence of sight wasn’t enough to dissuade Derek, though. He has learned to surf, and traveled from Brazil to Hawaii to surf the - [What Do You Deserve?](https://theranches.org/what-do-you-deserve/) - While it is a simple question, it is one that very few people can answer and it is at the heart of many of the issues that our young people face today. Do we deserve prosperity and wealth? Do we deserve to pay for our sins and transgressions? Do we deserve forgiveness? Do we - [Times of Change](https://theranches.org/times-of-change/) - As you may have noticed, we have changed the look of the Corral! This was not a decision we take lightly and we have had quite a discussion about how we should proceed with this new look. Some of us were concerned that the change would be perceived badly by you, our donors. Others of - [Alpha Delta Kappa](https://theranches.org/alpha-delta-kappa/) - On February 12, eight retired teachers from Alpha Delta Kappa Teachers Organization in Ruidoso traveled to The Ranches to bring Valentine’s gifts for the residents and staff. The previous year, they brought Christmas gifts. They enjoyed meeting the residents and discussed returning this past Christmas, but the group talked about how much the residents - [What's In a Name?](https://theranches.org/whats-in-a-name/) - Tonight at Copper Pointe Church, we heard a powerful message about encountering God and the power that lies in our name. The message dealt with Jacob and Esau. Specifically, Jacob wrestling with who he was and living up to the name he was given: Deceiver. Ultimately, Jacob’s life became so tumultuous that he ended up - [The Other Side of Hope](https://theranches.org/the-other-side-of-hope/) - The Other Side of Hope “Rekindling Hope in Today’s Youth” is the mission of The Ranches. So many young people today have lost hope; lost hope in their family, lost hope in their situation and lost hope in their future. The answer to this problem is not simply more hope, but hope with commitment and - [New Normal](https://theranches.org/new-normal/) - [Graduation](https://theranches.org/graduation/) - Written by Resident MJ I could actually make it. I’ve watched all the movies where all those kids walked down the line in their cap and gown, and posed with their parents to take pictures, but I never let myself believe that would be me. I just wasn’t made for that life. But yet, here - [Challenges 2015](https://theranches.org/challenges-2015/) - Written by resident MJ Since the year of 2002, the Ranches have created a week known as Challenges for the residents to celebrate the end of the extremely long, tiresome school year. 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At The Ranches, the Christmas season always invites us to slow down and remember what truly matters: the - [Spring Appeal 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-appeal-2025/) - Dear Friends, Education is one of the most common struggles families face, leading them to contact us for assistance. Their kids are often facing significant struggles with their schooling and most are at least one semester behind, and many are a year or more behind their peers. To address this concern, we provide on-campus schooling - [June Appeal 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/june-appeal-2025/) - In our ongoing mission to rekindle hope and help our residents break free from the generational cycles of trauma, pain, and instability, one of the most essential components of our work at The Ranches is providing consistent and compassionate emotional support. While physical safety, education, and structure are important parts of a child’s healing journey, - [Fall Appeal 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-appeal-2025/) - It is often said that education is one of the few things that can never be taken away from a person. I wholeheartedly believe this, and it is something that I try to instill in every child who comes through our front gates. Many of our kids come from backgrounds where education has not been - [Thanksgiving Appeal 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/thanksgiving-appeal-2025/) - Dear Friends, As Thanksgiving approaches, we find ourselves reflecting on the many reasons we are grateful, and at the top of that list is you. Your generosity has once again made it possible for The Ranches to provide a year filled with hope, healing, and growth for the young people who call this place home. - [Fall Corral 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/another-4h-season-comes-to-an-end-fall-corral-2025/) - In our last Corral, I shared the story of this year’s 4-H journey at The Ranches. The early mornings, the quiet hours in the barn, and the steady work of learning responsibility one feeding and one halter at a time. This program has always been about far more than raising animals. It has been about - [Summer Corral 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2025/) - Summer Corral 2025: Sometimes, It Begins In The Barn Early mornings at The Ranches begin not with alarms, but with the familiar rhythm of life waking up in the barn. Boots crunch over gravel as sleepy kids make their way down the hill. Gates creak open, water sloshes into troughs, and somewhere in the distance, - [Spring Corral 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2025/) - Spring Corral 2025: Lighting The Way What does it mean to rekindle hope? This is a question we face each time we engage with one of the children entrusted to our care. It is a question that resonates deeply, not only because it shapes the way we approach our work but because it reflects the - [Winter Corral 2025](https://theranches.org/featured_item/13570/) - Winter Corral 2025: What Our Traditions Look Like Navigating the Christmas season at The Ranch is similar to most family holidays. It is filled with joy, traditions, and most of all chaos. There is the dip in weather, which inevitably comes with banter about when it’s appropriate to bundle up in a jacket and gloves. - [Christmas Appeal 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/christmas-appeal-2024/) - Dear Friends, “I thought I was ready to go out into the world, but I wasn’t prepared for all the responsibilities that come with being an adult. I took the stability of The Ranch for granted and I didn’t realize things would be so hard once I was on my own!” This was a conversation - [Thanksgiving Appeal 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/thanksgiving-appeal-2024/) - Dear Friends Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your support of hope and for supporting our mission of Rekindling Hope in Today’s Youth. We are filled with gratitude for all of you who support our organization and the kids who need a fresh start - [Fall Appeal 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-appeal-2024/) - Dear Friends, When thinking about the most important things we can offer the kids in our care, one that immediately comes to mind is to provide safety. The kids in our care come from a multitude of backgrounds and experiences where safety was not always the top priority or consideration. Unfortunately, this problem is not - [Summer Corral 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2024/) - Summer Corral 2024: 80 Years of Stories As we are quickly approaching our 80th year reunion, we have been speaking to many former residents and staff as they reminisce on their time spent with us. I have been extremely thankful to hear their stories and it has served as a reminder of the importance of - [Summer Appeal 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/june-appeal-2024/) - Dear Friends, I recently wrote in our Corral about a young woman named Anne who was presented with the opportunity to travel across the country to attend the National 4-H conference. I would like to take a moment to give you an update: Anne's trip opened her eyes to a plethora of new opportunities and - [Spring Appeal 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-appeal-2024/) - The beginning of this new year has been very fruitful for us here at The Ranches. We have been moving forward on our Beaty cottage build and have made some needed renovations to our school facilities. These improvements to our campus are encouraging and I am hoping to capitalize on this progress to ensure that - [Winter Corral 2024](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2024/) - Winter Corral 2024: New Year, New Tools With any new year, we all get the opportunity for a new beginning and a new opportunity to make the changes that we would like to see in ourselves. As we are entering this new year, all of us who work at The Ranches are looking for more effective - [Year End Appeal 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/year-end-appeal-2023/) - Dear Friends, As this year quickly comes to an end, there is much to reflect on and be excited about in 2024. As most of you are aware, we are making swift progress on the building of our new Beaty cottage. This has been an exciting endeavor, and all of us here at The Ranches - [Fall Corral 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2023/) - Fall Corral 2023: Dealing With Grief & Loss Both grief and loss are subjects that we speak about and address often while helping the residents that we serve at The Ranches. Grief is an unavoidable side effect of adolescence and something that all of us face throughout the rest of our lives. For the - [Christmas Appeal 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/13119/) - Dear Friends, This year has brought many trials and tribulations for not only us here at The Ranches but for many others as well. With everything that has happened this year, we are especially thankful for a holiday season that serves as a reminder to draw close to our loved ones and spend quality time - [Thanksgiving Appeal 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/thanksgiving-appeal-2023/) - Dear Friends, As we are preparing to sit down and have another Thanksgiving meal with our staff and residents, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the ability to do this work and see the changes made in the lives of so many kids. I am keenly aware that this gift is solely due to your - [Summer Corral 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2023/) - Summer Corral 2023: Growth Through Self Awareness Just about anyone who works with kids ends up following one of two distinct pathways: 1. They work to have everyone adapt and mold to them by punishing those who dare to ask them to change, grow or do things differently... 2. Or those who end up - [June Appeal 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/june-appeal-2023/) - Dear Friends, Hello, it’s me again. We’re heading into Summer at The Ranches and will soon be maneuvering through the intricacies of the 4-H season that fills the longer days with just a bit more to do and a whole lot more animals to tend to. We are also getting ready to break ground - [Spring Corral 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2023/) - Spring Corral 2023: So, Tell Me Again What You Do...? While many careers are universally understood, mine really isn’t. I am invariably asked the very adult and ominous question that is the starting point for many relationships that start after the onset of adulthood; And what do you do? My answer, “I work with - [Spring Appeal 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-appeal-2023/) - Dear Friends, Hi! It’s me again. To be honest, I love my job, but I tend to love this part - the constant demands of fundraising - the least. Thankfully, y’all are a great group to write to and you tend to respond generously and routinely. A couple of our most generous donors - [Winter Corral 2023](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2023/) - Winter Corral 2023: Accountability Without Self Awareness “You gotta resurrect the deep pain within you and give it a place to live that’s not within your body. Let it live in art. Let it live in writing. Let it live in music. Let it be devoured by building brighter connections. Your body is not a coffin - [Year End Appeal 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/year-end-appeal-2022/) - Dear Friends, As most of you are aware, I’d rather clean the worst parts of the barn and deal with the most difficult of our kids than ask y’all for...A little bit more. I know that the vast majority of you give at the highest level you can and that no one likes feeling - [Christmas Appeal 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/christmas-appeal-2022/) - Dear Friends, Well, It’s me again! I think y’all are well aware of my discomfort with this process and with asking for money. As I am prone to tell the kids though, “when you get a job, don’t try to change the way the job is done. Just do your job the way that they - [Thanksgiving Appeal 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/thanksgiving-appeal-2022/) - Dear friends, There are so many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving at The Ranches! This year has brought a significant level of prosperity that we weren’t exactly prepared for but aren’t exactly willing or able to shy away from. As many of you know, I am not the Kull that a lot of - [Year End Appeal 2021](https://theranches.org/featured_item/year-end-2021/) - Dear friends, The Ranches hasn’t changed much in the last 40 years or so. While we built Girls Ranch and Hart Youth Ranch in the 80s, both of those programs became too expensive to continue to operate and too far away to manage. As a result, we closed both and sold the properties in an - [Fall Appeal 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-appeal-2022/) - [Spring Corral 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2022/) - SPRING CORRAL 2022 - What, Honestly, Would Jesus Do? As someone who somewhat deftly survived the late 80s and early 90s and the onslaught of WWJD bracelets, bumper stickers and t-shirts, the question of what our Lord and Savior would do has come up a time or two with me. Interestingly, I am more confident in - [Spring Appeal 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-appeal-2022/) - Dear Friends, At the end of 2021, I was rather excited to announce our plans to build an additional cottage at The Ranches. Since that letter was sent out, we have made considerable progress towards our goal of realizing this important new project. Through the generosity of a large donor, coupled with your generosity, we - [Winter Corral 2022](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2022/) - WINTER CORRAL 2022 Modeling What Was Modeled For Us I don’t know about you, but I often go about our business without thinking too much about what it means to be a role model. I know that being a “positive male role model” is important and a prevalent term, but I also know that positive - [Fall Corral 2021](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2021/) - FALL CORRAL 2021 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT Loving your job As we head into our busiest season, I often find myself in a position of happiness and gratitude. Despite the tough decisions and the hurt that goes along with the kids we serve; I love my job. To be completely honest, I don’t know what - [Summer Corral 2021](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2021/) - SUMMER CORRAL 2021 Legacies, Lifetimes, and the Latent High Cost of Childcare I am often amazed by the number of people who think that they know everything that they need to know about me simply because they know my parents and they have a history of being involved with The Ranches. Human nature, I suppose, - [Spring Corral 2021](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2021/) - SPRING CORRAL 2021 "You Just Don't Get It!" I'll Take My Charity Without Much Reality, Thank You Very Much I spend most of my life navigating between two very different worlds. I have the public relations and public policy and business management and leadership world, and I have the world that the kids live in - [Winter Corral 2021](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2021/) - WINTER CORRAL 2021 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT Where to begin... There’s not a lot that I can say that hasn’t already been said about 2020. It was challenging in almost every way. From the physical challenges, to the emotional challenges, to the political challenges, to the logistical challenges, there seemed to be challenges at every - [Fall Corral 2020](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2020/) - FALL CORRAL 2020 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT This edition of the Fall Corral 2020 has been a pretty honest one. It’s not as though the previous editions of the Fall Corral were dishonest, but this one has a tinge of vulnerability on my part. Most of the “experts” that advise charities on fund raising caution - [Summer Corral 2020](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2020/) - Given the significant coverage and plethora of information related to world events that can, most of the time, feel overwhelming, I feel no need to rehash those events here. Suffice it to say that Rekindling Hope in At Risk Youth is particularly challenging right now. Being in a position to explain current events to the - [Spring Corral 2020](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2020-50-years-of-service/) - Spring Corral 2020 50 Years of Service How many young married couples, with bachelor’s degrees in each of their pockets, a 5-month-old child, and opportunities galore would purposely choose to come to a desolate stretch of land, and move into a house where they would immediately be responsible for 12 children? Not many that don’t - [Winter Corral 2020](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2020/) - LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT I spend most of my time on the silent side of politics and I only rarely delve into the discourse surrounding American democracy and our 2-party system. While it probably allows for me to lag behind in “friends” and “Likes” on social media, I am not one to tell others how - [Fall Corral 2019](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2019/) - Life is filled with struggles and accomplishments. Before The Ranches my only thought process was to always survive. Being at The Ranches has shown me another way. It shows you that you can turn your hurt, your sadness, your anger, your past into a weapon. Okay, when I say weapon don't freak out. When people - [Summer Corral 2019](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2019/) - By Heath Kull Many families today struggle to find a balance between being connected to each other and the hectic demands of today’s fast paced world. This is understandable as we are all busy and we all are seemingly attached to our smartphones and other devices on a fairly consistent basis. It is easy to - [Fall Corral 2018](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2018/) - [Fall Corral 2017](https://theranches.org/featured_item/fall-corral-2017/) - [Spring Corral 2017](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2017/) - [Winter Corral 2019](https://theranches.org/featured_item/winter-corral-2019/) - By Resident - RP When I first came to The Ranches, I thought that is was were the “bad kids”came. I thought that this was a place where your parents dropped you off because they couldn’t handle you; that they don’t even care about you. I started getting used to The Ranches and I started - [Summer Corral 2018](https://theranches.org/featured_item/summer-corral-2018/) - Times…They Are a Changin’ - [Spring Corral 2018](https://theranches.org/featured_item/spring-corral-2018/) ## Categories - [Uncategorized](https://theranches.org/category/uncategorized/) - [Heath Kull](https://theranches.org/category/heath-kull/) - [Events](https://theranches.org/category/events/) - [Blog Posts](https://theranches.org/category/blog/) - [Podcast](https://theranches.org/category/podcast/) - [President's Articles](https://theranches.org/category/presidents-articles/) ## Tags - [struggling teens](https://theranches.org/tag/struggling-teens/) - [unhappy family](https://theranches.org/tag/unhappy-family/) - [Hope for struggling teens](https://theranches.org/tag/hope-for-struggling-teens/) - [Charity](https://theranches.org/tag/charity/) - [New Mexico Living](https://theranches.org/tag/new-mexico-living/) - [helping kids](https://theranches.org/tag/helping-kids/) - 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