“You’re Fired!”
That’s a statement you might expect to hear on a TV show or from a frustrated boss. But this angry
statement was directed to our staff and came from a young man in our program who is under the age of 12.
Mateo arrived on campus with an attitude. He let everyone know right away that he was going to
do everything he could to be in control – of everyone and everything on campus.
Mateo has a right to be angry and to fight for control. The day before his interview, his only
caregiver died and he and his siblings were left without a home. After the funeral, the siblings
were admitted to the program and every effort was made to provide a support system that would
allow them to grieve the loss of the world as they once knew it.
The first few weeks were filled with activities and adjusting to a new school environment. But
following that adjustment period, the new wore off and, as we say in the program, “The
honeymoon was over.” The impact of the devastating loss and the massive changes in his living
environment took a toll and, Mateo’s ability to cope was pushed to the limits.
His anger was directed primarily to those who wanted to assist him with the process, and if he
didn’t like their methods, they were immediately “fired.” As you can imagine, the first few times
this occurred, it took everyone by surprise and the staff were good to accept the acting out as
part of the grieving process. Efforts to assist with the feelings of loss and hopelessness were
continued, while the daily “firings” also continued.
To completely understand what this child is feeling, one would have to go through a similar process at the
same young age and experience the devastation of losing so much in such a short period of time. As
adults, we can provide empathy for the situation, but nothing can easily alleviate the pain Mateo is
experiencing.
Those who have accepted the responsibility of caring for children whose lives have been altered through
no action of their own, must work extremely hard to remember where the anger comes from and do their
best to comfort and redirect children who are acting out. It is a challenging and stressful job.
The Ranches was created for children like Mateo. We can provide a safe and supportive environment for
young people whose lives have been completely disrupted and who are angry and need a safe place to
express that anger in hopes of moving forward.
While you are not directly involved in the day-to-day supervision of the children, your generous support
makes it possible for the staff who, in this case, must stand in the gap and attempt to meet the emotional
and physical needs of an angry, frustrated and hopeless young man who “fires” them daily.
This Christmas season, we are asking you to join with us in providing a place of hope to Mateo, his
siblings and the other residents at the Ranch. Without your help, we cannot step in and redirect behaviors
that could one day have devastating consequences for an innocent child who is alone in a frightening
world.
Your gift this Holiday Season will help kids like Mateo with the support they need to grieve, to grow and
to find HOPE again.
