Life in a cottage can be very interesting. A lot of people that I talk to think of the cottage as a large family, but it is often times more like a very dysfunctional work department.
Typical family roles do not apply as, for the most part, family roles are determined by birth order and years of time spent together. Older siblings guide and influence younger siblings while parents manage and provide for the children. Our cottages do not typically reflect this dynamic.
Cottage life is typically defined by the most dominant resident and the most capable staff member and they are usually somewhat at odds. This is due to the fact that children that have been hurt are skeptical of authority as they were usually hurt by someone in authority over them, and staff do not have the protective and self-sacrificing love of a parent towards children that they have only recently formed a relationship with.
As the cottage begins to work out the power struggles between strong-willed children and well-intentioned staff, group dynamics play a larger and more prominent role.
There is usually a cottage clown, a legalistic fairness referee, a take charge commander, several followers and a couple of “cool kids” that go with the flow. Managing these roles and turning the children who play these roles into productive members of society is a long and somewhat difficult process.
The first step we take is to help young people understand how important it is for them to participate in their own success. Most people take it for granted that a person would participate in their own success, but a lifetime of negative messages has the effect of diminishing one’s desire to do so. That’s where you come in. We teach the kids at The Ranches about the kind and generous folks that participate in their success by supporting our organization. Over time, the example that you set becomes their blueprint to move forward. This is a huge part of our ability to be successful and it all starts with you.
