Modeling What Was Modeled For Us

I don’t know about you, but I often go about our business without thinking too much about what it means to be a role model. I know that being a “positive male role model” is important and a prevalent term, but I also know that positive female role models are just as valuable and just as needed. What is, by far, the best for kids is a home built by and around a positive male and a positive female modeling healthy relationships and, when necessary, positive conflict and the requisite conflict resolution. But how many of us have a history and a relationship blueprint built on a model that includes strong male and strong female role models who work together to work it out? For the kids at The Ranches, very few if any.

In our society as a whole, I would imagine that “less than we’d like to admit” is most likely the answer to that difficult question. And why is that, exactly?

Relationships are difficult and conflict is challenging. If we get rather honest, we can actually discuss our individual and diverse relationship models. If we continue along that path, we can also talk about each of our views on, and experiences with, conflict resolution. After all, conflict is one of a select few things that can end our relationships and is a near constant that is present in the kids’ lives before coming to The Ranches and will be present in their lives after they leave us. Interestingly, if I list the weaknesses of The Ranches, our ability to handle conflict in a healthy way would be near the top of the list. As fairly normal adults, we don’t have any problem being right or being loud or shunning or emotionally overwhelming those who dare to challenge us, but we don’t often engage in, value, or do well with conflict resolution. Conflict, yes…but resolution, not so much. One of my goals is to help our staff become more comfortable with and more capable within, conflict and conflict resolution.

We all come from a home with a blueprint for conflict and, for better or worse, strategies and processes to facilitate the peaceful ending of conflict; or, conversely, a method for retribution. Committed family members attempt to resolve family conflicts by actively communicating information about their conflicting motives or ideologies to the rest of the family. As a result, each person forms a blueprint for both engaging and ending conflict. Ending conflict, however, isn’t the same thing as conflict resolution.

Read the full Winter Corral 2022 – Click Here…

Heath Kull – President

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